Dr Seward's unwritten diary
by bestwitches
Summary: Dr. Seward visits Renfield in his room and discovers something that he shouldn't have said out loud. Dr. Seward/Renfield.


Dr. Seward's Diary

31 September. – My poor, dear Lucy's death left a shadow of gloom hovering on my heart and, considering what has happened to me tonight, on my mind as well. I shall put it all down on this notebook separated from my ordinary diary, so that Mina, Van Helsing and the others do not read it.

My most intriguing patient in the asylum, Renfield, has been quiet as a child for the last few days, so when I came to see him to his room it didn't struck me that there were no guards along the narow corridors. I looked in through the observation trap and saw him calmly sitting on his bed, the small rays of moonlight that filtered through the window bathing his shirt in white. When I came in he raised his head a little and watched me as I sat by his side on the bed.

'Hello, Dr. Seward', he said with a pretty smile, 'What brought you here tonight?'.

He was in a good mood, and I needed answers; so I inconveniently decided to lead our conversation towards them. I began asking him about the flies and the spiders he did not eat anymore, and he mumbled that such small beings did not quite satisfy him, but kept rejecting bigger forms of life that I offered him as an alternative: rats, cats, even a hypothetical elephant. I stood still for a while and asked myself how he could have attracted so many flies with minuscule amounts of sugar through a high and tiny window, and got to the conclusion that there must have been some external force that helped him. That also explained the sudden disinterest that my patient _seemed_ to feel towards them –for I fear he was faking it– : the force was gone.

The force… But what, who, could it be?

'Renfield', I muttered, 'I was wondering if your Master has forgotten about you.'.

I wanted to take back the words the moment I said them. My patient was at first still and quiet, but over his face came a grey look which deepened and deepened in the moonlight, till his eyes burnt wild with a madman's killer rage. I was not expecting such behaviour from him and I feared for my life, and then, before I could even think of screaming for the guards who were not there, he groaned loudly and pinned me down with unnatural strength.

'How dare you suggest that I am a mere pawn to his service!', he hissed angrily, but I wasn't listening. Renfield was sitting astride on me and I could feel his body heat on my skin. The first buttons of his shirt were undone, showing part of his chest, and I began to feel uneasy, suddenly becoming aware that we were two young men, all alone in a dark room, lying on a bed in a very awkward position. If he leaned forward just a bit…

Then I realised that Renfield had stopped talking. A second later I heard him mumbling: 'Oh, so _that_'s why you won't call the guards!'.

I had an erection. It was the most embarassing moment of my life. I tried to get away, but he would not let me. His grip was tight, and I gave up. By that time I was breathing stertorously and desperately arching my back to stop making contact with him. It was a torture. Waves of heat went through my body and I tried hard to repress them while Renfield stared at me with a grin.

'Renfield', I said in an eager whisper, 'What the hell are you doing?'

I watched him leaning forward and muttering in my ear: 'What do you want me to do?'

The excitement I felt was unbearable, so I mumbled: 'Anything!'.

That evil creature laughed at me while I shook and shuddered with pure contained pleasure. I could not take it anymore, and he still had my arms pinned down, so I did the only thing I could do: I raised my hips and began rubbing myself against him. I moaned desperately and kept doing it faster until I felt Renfield's reaction. Then I stopped.

I looked up and saw Renfield all flushed and gasping for air. 'Why did you stop?', he asked. 'Fuck you', I answered. He grinned and said, 'Okay', and he finally let me go.

I leaned forward and gave him a rough kiss on the lips. I seized him as I could and rolled him over so that he was on his hands and knees, and untied our belts and took off our pants. My erection hurt like hell and I believed Renfield was quite strong, so I simply asked him in a low, gentle voice: 'Shall I prepare you, my friend?', and he said 'No', so I didn't. I pushed myself inside him, slowly, so slowly. I felt him slightly arching his back and groaning. Then I pushed out, and in again, and he groaned again. Out, in, out. He took a handful on the sheets, and moaned hoarsely. In, out, in, out. 'Faster', he cried, but I wanted to torture him a bit like he had done to me, so I kept making the seconds pass with nightmare slowness. He couldn't take it, I know, even though he did not say a word.

I felt all of his muscles hardening, his skin sweating, his breath becoming loud and irregular. He moaned my name. He was about to come, and so was I, so I decided to go faster. I thrust, and thrust, to the very inside of that man, until my legs became accustomed to that move and did it quite atomatically. I passed my hand through Renfield's length for a while, until I had him screamind wildly. And then, suddenly and spectacularly, we both came.

I had forgotten all of my duties as a religious man, but I did not quite mind back then. I could only think of Renfield…


End file.
